Remember that grand idea I shared with you a month or so ago about writing again but letting fear stand in my way? Well, guess who has been winning? F E A R.

If you missed my first Truthful Tuesday here is the link: https://wovensoulphotography.com/truthful-tuesday-for-the-step-mom/

As everyone is gearing up for their first day of school tomorrow with their kids, I am dealing with for the first time not getting to see my daughter pick out the outfit she’s going to wear on the first day. However, she still asks me what she should wear and she is almost 11. It’s just something we always do together, and I really feel honored she still involves me on that decision. And well my boy Jaden, he just rather me pick out his clothes and snuggle him good in the morning before school.

This is the first year since being divorced I have not had my kids on the first day of school. That goes all the way back to 2013. I think I have been letting myself be in denial because it just hit me today that the prep of the day before isn’t at my doorstep this year.

There truly is nothing like the first day excitement of school with all the newness. New shoes, new backpack, new haircut, and the first outfit you wear back to school. And then the car line anticipation– all the nerves and chitter chatter of what is to come. Then we pray together, get a little kiss, and then I watch them walk off so boldly, to take on another year.

The only encouragement I can give to myself and others that are facing this shift is to make our very own “first day” when they return back to our home. We may be a week behind everyone else posting their first day school pictures; but we still get a chance to have a first day with them, just in a different time frame. If your kids are routine kids like mine, they will expect it all to be the same as usual with us. So, I choose to make the most of my “first day of school” with my kids on our own day, and it’ll be special in its very own way.

And just for fun here are some of our first day of school pics from over the past 6 years…..

And I won’t lie–my heart hurts big and I am going to miss not seeing them walk out this door tomorrow…. I will be crying with all the other mommas but probably for different reasons.